College Appetite©
by Aurora Giacobbe

Tightly packed into the elevator,
slimy sardines, waiting to be picked from the bunch
by a professor who cares enough to
cook you
until you’ve done a job Rare and Well Done.
        here we are
-the witch in the house of candy.
She wants to consume you. She’s about to
cook you.
        have you ever [been] smoked before?
            no, never.
How could you have known?
Where was the warning?
Her home smells warm, inviting,
sweet, that means
good.
How could you have known,
                        you’re in danger.
        i’ll never need an air freshener again,
This puff bar smells too
sweet, too
good.
Never need dessert again.
          i kept the box to read the warning on cardboard that reminds me
            i’m in danger.
But consume it anyways.
The College Diet©.
Theory, coffee, contextualize, debate, nicotine, philosophy.
        diet culture is toxic,
                        eat what you want.
            if you can eat anything
                            at all.
The College Appetite©.
Weed from the deli on the corner,
doesn’t get you high, but it might kill you.
The man behind the counter asks,
        which one?
He unscrews each top, scoots containers to the edge. You smelllllll.
                        this one’s
[sweet, that means]
                        good.
Hand him the cash.
        can i see an ID?
Oops.
Hand it over.
Heart beats, fridges hum.
        All set.
Walk away, not sure how. It says below your name,
AGE 21 IN 2022
Yet somehow, am not.
        tell me how to act,
            what to do.
                how do i make it out there?
            how do you even survive?
How To:
Use a buzzer to get up to your friend’s apartment.
Make sure you have the right apartment,
text them
        5D, right?
hover your finger over 5D,
push down the button,
that split second when you hear the
        zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
and
            shit, open the door
        don’t let it pass, make it in the door. four flights of stairs to five floors up.
        do you want a glass of water, hard selzter?
            water please,
        do you drink?
            no, too much addiction in my parents and
            their siblings and
            their parents
        mine too
But consume it anyway.
Am I missing out?
Should I just
suck. it. up. through the opening of the bottle, burn my throat warm and fuzzy feeling,
        i like this one cause it’s so sweet, can’t taste the alcohol
followed by dissociation and- well,
I wouldn’t know, I guess.
If you have to mask the true taste with false sweetness, is it still
good?
        can we get something to eat?
            you can, i’m not sure i have the Appetite. I’ve consumed too much today, too much
information and conversation and
urban air, composed of Greenhouse Gases and sickness and rumors.
This city consumes you, you are its’ Appetite.
Dilutes you, waters you down,
nearly drowned, gives you
mouth to mouth
with someone you didn’t want to kiss.
Leaves you in a daze until water, thick like vodka (or how I’d imagine it to be) and smog
fills your lungs.
Leaves you dripping sweat in the middle of summer with no AC and empty in the winter as the wind whips through you,
leaving you Raw.
Before the winter and spring and summer, before the city consumed me,
I was consumed by someone.
They smelled
sweet.
Sweeter than anyone I knew.
            that means good,
So I thought I’d be safe.
The first time they tasted me, I asked what it was like.
To consume me, to be so engulfed,
they said
        surprisingly sweet.
We laughed.
        how did you know you were in love?
How could we have possibly known?
I guess because we tasted sweet. I guess because it hurt to let go, because it
left me Raw, terrified to do it ever again.
        you can’t dwell on the past, it will
            consume you
swallow you up, just like this city.
Consumption and capitalism are
        the root of all evil
Is that your favorite thing to say? while you consume,
food, money, no food at all, drugs you’ve never tried, music you’ve never listened to, books you’ve never read, a news article with no real news, second-hand gossip, first-hand smoke, consuming other people, only the sweetest parts, swallow them whole
so you have a new, sparkling personality,
so you can reinvent yourself and forget.
Please, consume me.
I can’t stand myself, I hate the taste.
Can you stomach me? Keep me down?
I’m too sour, too raw.
A perishable left out, spoiled, curdled in fear.
I’ll sit in your throat and choke you, fill you up but never nourish you.
Do you even have an Appetite for me? After all, where does hunger draw the line?
I can’t bear to consume anything anymore, I’m sick with anxiousness and could throw up my
breakfast--
one piece of toast and
invasive thoughts--
at any second.
Can’t stomach them, so I can’t eat today.
But I will consume anything else. Anything other than food. That’s all I have the Appetite for.

Aurora has been involved in multimedia art forms since a young age, using storytelling to convey the most mundane parts of life to the most intense. They are passionate about working in collaboration with other artists' visions, having directed and written student films and assistant directed multiple stage productions. Aurora is currently studying Screen Studies at The New School and writing as much as she can.

@aurora_giacobbe_